Four nights later...

All I can say is that I am exhausted! The first night was just too good to be true. It has only gone downhill since then. I keep asking my self why I am subjecting my self to this so soon to pulling all nighters with the new baby. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Last night I finally broke down and cried. I felt like a new mother again and that I had no idea what I was doing. Okay this is what happened.
The second night:
I put Jackson down and he got out of bed five times. On the fifth time we finally decided to lock the door. I sat on the couch crying sure that Jackson was thinking horrible things about his mommy as he cried in his room. As soon as it was quiet I unlocked to door and went in and he had crawled back in bed and was asleep. We left the door unlocked and went to bed and Jackson never got up till the morning. (Which was around 6:10 when he usually sleeps in till about 8:00)
The third night:
I put Jackson down and he got up three times and then I decided to lock the door again. Again I was upset on the couch but he was asleep about 15 min after I locked the door. I went in again and he was in bed and I tucked him in and left the door unlocked. He slept through the night again but got up around 6:15 again.
The fourth night:
Josh took his turn putting Jackson down. (He is much nicer than I am, as most of you know.) He asked Jackson if he would stay in bed if he left the door open. Jackson got out of bed twice but daddy stayed in the hallway and gave him a stern point back to the bed and he went to bed and stayed!?! WHAT!?! (This made me feel like crap-I could have just left the door open instead of locking it and he would have stayed?) Again, daddy wins the parenting award for the week. Or does he?... Josh then went to go play basketball and came in around 11:30 I warned him when he came in that he should be so quiet and pray that he doesn't wake him up. As soon as Josh turns out the light we had a little visitor in our room. The visitor must have really liked us because he made 3 more repeat appearances that night. The final visit was at 5:00 about 20 min before I had to get up for work. Again, I cried. (It turns out that being 6 months pregnant, working 10 hour days at the office and then another hour and half at the gym and then training your toddler to sleep in a bed all at the same time does not really go together.) When I got to work I texted Josh and told him that I thought we needed to lock the door all night tonight to keep him from waking up to a crazy pregnant lady tomorrow. I was glad that he approved. So parents of the year we may not be but at least we a finding ways not to completely lose our minds. Just when you think, yes I have the parenting thing under control they throw another curve ball at you. AHHHHHHHH!!! There should be a warning label that comes with kids....
WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. AT LOT HARDER THAN IT LOOKS. THEY PROBABLY WON'T LIKE YOU A LOT OF THE TIME. YOU WILL CRY A LOT. SCREW UP A LOT. AND JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THEM...THEY SURPRISE YOU...YOU CANT. GOOD LUCK!

The First Night...

Jackson got a big boy bed for his 2nd Birthday with an awesome basketball comforter. While we were setting up the bed he kept climbing all over it. As soon as it was all put together he wanted to climb on the top and look at all the basketball things on the quit. He kept jumping up and down saying, "Excited, excited!". We were happy for Jackson but we were both a little nervous. With the baby coming in a few months we know that we are going to be suffering in the sleep area again soon and we thought by putting Jackson in the big boy bed that we were just starting our sleep deprivation early. When it came time for bed we said prayers by the bed (pleading with Heavenly Father to help him stay in bed) and then we tucked him in. Daddy stayed in the room for a few minutes to make sure that Jackson was settled and then he just said goodnight and walked out. We came in our room and waited, and waited, and waited...nothing. So we went to bed. I woke up about 3 in the morning worried that his new pillow had suffocated him and that was why he had not come in yet, but no he was alive and sleeping. Then the morning came, I heard him wake up about 7:3o and talk to him self for a few minutes and then I heard his door open. He was up. He came in to my room and of course said, "Watch Elmo?" I couldn't believe we had made it. The first night was a wonderful success...I will let you know how night #2 goes. ...

Jackson's Family Party

Jackson is having his party on Saturday, but on his real birthday the three of us (not for long!) had just a family birthday party. I made cupcakes for Jackson and daddy and we sang happy birthday and opened presents. He really was excited all day long, he kept saying, "Happy Birthday Jackson?". I let him know it really was a special day because that was the only day that mommy would give him an entire cupcake to himself. (I am always afraid of giving him too much sugar so he always gets half a cookie, or whatever treat he is having...I know I am mean.) All in all I think he had a good day and I think that on Saturday he will have even more fun. He did get an Elmo potty training book which we are hoping really pushes him to learn. I am not looking forward to two in diapers, so Jackson has got to get this down pretty quickly!

So as it turns out just about everyone hates the name Lucas. I have learned my lesson, next kid we have no one will know the name till it pops out! So I am not saying the Lucas is off the table, but I am saying that we are not sure now. So we are open to suggestions. Just nothing that starts with a P. I don't want his initials to be PP (peepee). In other news...I just got my results from my national certification for aerobics and I passed! Sooooo much studying and a full day of practical and written exams, (while I was 5 months pregnant) payed off. This now means that I can teach at any gym in the country and get paid more because I am certified. Yeah! It is so amazing that fitness has become such a big part of my life when I used to hate working out. It is funny where life takes you. All I know is that I am a whole lot happier in this career than others I have tried (and my husband is happier with a healthier wife and one that is in better shape.) More posts soon...it is almost Jackson's birthday. Two years! Can you believe it?!

Phoenix Children's Museum

What a day! On Saturday it was free day at Phoenix Children's Museum so we decided to make a day of it and we took Jackson. He had such a great time.

He rode a motorcycle...
He did a little cooking...
He went on lots of slides (which are his favorite)...
Got in a fight with a little girl because she wanted to push it the opposite way Jackson did...
Last but not least he got to meet Elmo. He was so exited to meet Elmo until he got close to him and then all the sudden he was terrified
All in all it was a pretty good/long day.

A week later....

Okay, so it has been about a week since I found out that I am having another boy. I am starting to get used to the idea and a LOT of people have been giving me their opinion on the situation. My bishop even said how excited he was that we were adding to our basketball team. (Josh is the coach of the young men's team in our ward.) Yesterday as I was putting Jackson down for his nap and I was rubbing his belly singing, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", the baby kicked me and I thought...awwwhh how I love my boys. I actually think that if I went to the doctor next week and they told me that they had made a mistake I would be sad. I like the thought of "MY boys". I am excited now to see if this baby will come out looking like Jackson with blond hair and blue eyes, or look like me and be a brunette with brown eyes. Ahhh, the waiting game, I can't believe that I have 5 more months. Ahhh. I guess this would be a good time to announce that we have decided to name the next boy....drum roll...Lucas ____ Perkins. (Middle name is still under negotiation.) Jackson can already say it too...Baby Lucas?... and he points to mommy's belly. Awwwh, my boys.

Another penis??? Are you kidding me???

Okay, first off please don't think that I am a terrible person. I have spent the last 5 months thinking (and praying) that I was having a girl. My father in law even had a dream that it was a girl, so I have been so excited for today to find out that yes in fact I was having a girl. Well...NO! I am having another BOY. Don't get me wrong, I have a darling boy but I wanted a girl next. Now I am terrified that we will just keep having boys because that is all Josh can make (and wants) and I am going to be stuck in a house full of smelly boys! AHHHHHHH! As we went in to the ultrasound I was feeling hopeful. I asked the ultrasound tech not to just spring it on be but to tell us that she was ready, let me take a breath and then tell us the sex. She just turned the screen towards me and asked me what I thought it was. Of course up close and center there was a penis. I swear I don't want to see another penis for at least a week. (Sorry, Josh that means you too.) Josh was so happy, he said, "All right!", and then he kept tickling me. I HATE TO BE TICKLED! Finally I just looked at him in all my emotional glory and said, "Just Shut up!" So then he went straight to his phone and started texting the world about how happy he was. AHHHHHH! As I laid there while the ultrasound tech went over the rest of the anatomy I kept taking deep breaths willing the tears back.
Okay, now that I got all that out. Let me reassure you that I love my husband and my son (despite their anatomy) and I will love the next one also, but I just need a few days to grieve for the loss of my imaginary daughter.