Today as I was getting my son dressed and he told me I couldn't put on his socks because they didn't match? Huh? Blue socks do match blue jeans! I guess I have been watching too much Project Runway.
My only saving grace during the day is going to the gym. The best is when I can do kickboxing, it helps me get out all my "mommy aggression". I work even harder during class if my son smacks my butt as I am bending over getting dressed for the gym and says, "you got a big bum mommy." Thanks son. JAB, CROSS, HOOK, UPPERCUT!!!
I have perfected the evil eye. As I am out in public and my children are throwing a fit, I can feel the frustration building. First my children get the evil eye, then I branch out. I look around and just dare anyone to say something, or give me the, "can't that lady control her kids" look. Just do it, do it...I dare you!
The other day at CVS I was paying for my things and sorting through my coupons (ie. ignoring my two year old). Just as I am about to swipe my card I look around and my son had found the largest bag of Skittles (which by the way I did not have a coupon for) and was proceeding to eat the sugary candy by the handful. Ahhhh!!!! Grrrrr!!! I quickly grab him, hand the Skittles to the cashier ( I guess I have to buy them now) and say to Jackson, "I may have to buy them but don't think that you are going to eat them!" Not a moment later the lady next to me says, "yeah-that's how it's done mommy! Way to parent!" Are you kidding me? Thanks that is just what I needed your stamp of approval. Anyway...little does she know that I am sure the Skittles will make another appearance later this week in some kind of bribing moment.
I have realized that my standards for cleanliness and hygiene have reached an all time low. If the average person gets food on their shirt they would probably change it. Not me! I am just happy that it is not spit up or poop, which I would probably just wipe off with a damp cloth anyway.
Last week we went to dinner as a family. As we were sitting at the table Duke started fussing because he was hungry. I put on my UdderCover and proceeded to breastfeed my child. Yes, it was at the table, but I was covered up and hey I wanted to eat too. I started to get a few looks. Are you kidding me? This is going to be my only hot dinner this week, I am not going to the car or to the bathroom I am going to sit right here and eat my glorious hot pizza. I then asked Josh what he would say if they came over and told us that I couldn't breastfeed there. He just said that he would say, "Okay, but I'm not paying", and walk out. For a second I was proud that my husband would stick up for me and then I seriously considered flashing some boob to get a free meal.
The only place in the house that should not have pictures of your kids in it...the bathroom. When you have to lock yourself in there to have a two minute conversation with your girlfriend and you can hear then banging on the door, the last thing you want to see is their face.
Finally, I don't know if old women just lie or are senile but it doesn't "get easier" the medication just gets better!
